‘I thought we were just chilling’.


So in this age and time, guys are still playing tricks, using that annoying line.

You know now, that very annoying line.


You know the line now? How can you not know the line?

That line that jolts you back to reality; that makes you start to realize that you have been wasting your time all along…

It will usually go something like:

‘Why are you even complaining sef, shebi I never asked you out. I thought we were just “chilling…”’

Wait! What?

You said? I si? Ehn? Tu as dit? I don’t understand. Je ne comprend pas.

Repetez s’il vous plait! Please just say it again, lemme hear you.

(Very slowly this time) Yooou thoooought, we weeere juuuust ‘chilling’?


As in:

‘See Haych Eye Elu Elu Eye Een Gee’ – ‘Chilling’.

‘Thunder fire you there! Monkey!, Ekwe nsu!’ (In the most Igbotic accent I can muster)

See me…

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Mummy Sorry…


As soon as we heard raised voiced, we ran out of our room into the sitting-room. We huddled in the corner, all three of us, watching and listening as daddy called mummy all sorts of names. He said she was useless and that even dogs were better off.

The moment he saw us, it seemed like he got all the more enraged. He yelled at her to get out from the parlour. She got up from the sofa, and was walking towards us. She was about two paces from us when the wooden side-stool which we usually used to serve our visitors Coca-Cola hit her head. She buckled, fell, but managed to fall on her knees and not flat on her face. She immediately stood up, turned around and started screaming at him. She was asking him what she had done to him to warrant this kind of treatment.


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